This article is more than 8 years old

Carry On Campus movie? No thanks

There are lots of movies with a higher ed theme. Almost all of them look terrible and involve lots of death. Here's a dozen to avoid.
This article is more than 8 years old

Paul Greatrix is Registrar at The University of Nottingham, author and creator of Registrarism and a Contributing Editor of Wonkhe.

HigherEd movies to avoid

Back in March 2013 I was very excited about Admission, a movie focused on admissions to university. What could be better?

Also, there is the best-animated monster themed higher ed movie ever, Monsters University, which I’ve covered here before too.

So, beyond these two and the splendid Starter for 10 and Educating Rita, not to mention The Graduate (which doesn’t really cover HE as such), what other decent higher education related movies are out there? Probably quite a few. However, there must be some real stinkers too and I thought it would be interesting to have a look for some of the higher education-related films which you would never want to watch.MV5BNDEyNjAwMDczMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjc2NzE3MQ@@._V1_UY268_CR3,0,182,268_AL_

Here they are then – a dozen higher ed movies which sound like they are well worth avoiding:

Splatter University

A patient escapes from a mental hospital, killing one of his keepers and then a University professor after he makes his way to the local college. Next semester, the late prof’s replacement and a new group of students have to deal with a new batch of killings.

Graduation day

After a high school track runner, named Laura, suddenly dies from a heart attack after finishing a 30-second 200-meter race, a killer wearing a sweat suit and a fencing mask begins killing off her friends on the school track team one by one. The suspects include the track coach Michaels, Laura’s sister Anne who arrives in town for the funeral, the creepy school principal Mr. Guglione, and Laura’s strange boyfriend Kevin.MV5BNDY2NDgxNDQ5OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMTE0ODk1MDE@._V1_UY268_CR9,0,182,268_AL_

Dead on Campus

A freshman on campus discovers that the only way to be admitted into the sorority of her dreams is to seduce a nerdy introverted guy and film it. When the sorority “prank” goes viral, the boy is discovered dead from apparent suicide, but his sister does not buy it. She goes under cover to expose the sororities’ hidden secrets.

Higher Education

No parents, No money, No hygiene… not all lessons are learned in the classroom. Higher Education is a quirky, fast paced, coming of age comedy. Seen though the eyes of sheltered mummy’s boy Martin, we meet his new housemates, Chloe, Jamie and Adam, and follow their highs and lows as they learn to look after themselves. If you already had a low opinion of students, its just about to get a whole lot worse!

Demolition university

A college student and his friends try to thwart a deranged war veteran’s plan to poison the city’s water supply.

Murder University

A series of brutal, cult-like murders are taking place at a New England college. Josh Greene, a shy freshman, is the lone survivor of a series of murders that are reminiscent of a similar string of killings some twenty years prior. As he seeks to uncover the secret behind the attacks, he is joined by Detective Forrester, who was instrumental in halting the bloodshed before, and his daughter Meg, who had barely escaped being a victim previously.

MV5BMzYwMDg5MTQwNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTIxODE1MDE@._V1_UY268_CR3,0,182,268_AL_Naked Campus

Here are some events in the eight months following the college graduation of two of a trio of buddies. It’s that time when events are likely to become “heavier” than those of a student, such as deepening relationships with partners, parents, pals and employers.

Miskatonic university

A young professor takes a job at an isolated New England college carrying with him a dark curse. Based on stories by H.P. Lovecraft.

The University Player

Chance is obsessed with basketball, but when he drives his girlfriend (Stacy) away with his single-mindedness, there is nothing he won’t do to gMV5BMTgyODY5ODM5OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTM5MTcyMQ@@._V1_UY268_CR2,0,182,268_AL_et her back. In desperation, he resorts to the help of Uncle Rick, the self-proclaimed head of Players University…

University estate

It’s the last day before Spring break, college student Robby Turnwell is in for the week of his life as he packs his bags and heads home for the weekend. Once he gets an unexpected call from his older brother Jake to house sit, the life he once knew gets turned upside down in this hilarious comedy. From an out of control party to encounters with gangsters, police, and more, Robby reinvents the rule book on college mischief.

Big Monster on Campus

MV5BMjM1MDI1ODM4NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTczMDUwMTE@._V1_UY268_CR16,0,182,268_AL_At a party, one student gets picked on and ends up getting thrown into a pool that has no water in it. Frank, a geek, retrieves a brain from his father’s lab and agrees to let the boy have it in exchange for a chance to hang with the popular crowd. The brain, it turns out, originally belonged to a serial killer. As the teen monster goes haywire, popular Macy becomes romantically involved with former geek Frank.

Campus cops

When a dog poops on renegade campus security officer Monahan’s campus, what lengths will he and his new by-the-book partner Stew go to to catch the culprit?

I particularly liked the idea of this last one which sounds a bit like “True Crime on Campus: the Movie”. Fortunately, the Carry On team never got round to making a campus-based movie. Probably for the best as it would inevitably have become mixed up in the debate about guns on US university campuses where combining “campus” and “carry” has a distinct meaning.

Which ones sound good to you? Are there ones I’ve missed off the list here?

3 responses to “Carry On Campus movie? No thanks

  1. The first thirty minutes of the new ABBA movie were excruciating as a representation of graduation.

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