True Crime on Campus: More funny business
Once again our ever-dependable Security staff are faced with more challenges trying to keep campus safe for all:
2305 Report that Students had blocked sinks in Hall JCR causing a flood. Security attended Lanes for Drains and Quality 1st was called out. Two large concrete benches had also been put on top of a set of railings which Officers removed.
2250 Report that a Bus was stuck on Beeston Lane Security attended. The driver stated that he had attempted to turn around when he got the bus wedged between the curbs. Officers worked with Staff from the Bus Company and Estates Grounds Staff with Tractors to free the bus. The bus was not a University Hopper bus.
2240 Report of a Student with a cut finger in Hall. Security attended and the Student was taken to Hospital by Security. The Student had cut his finger while washing up.
1405 Report of two dogs tied up outside Hallward Library. Security attended and Officers were able to locate the owner who took the animals home.
1740 Report of an altercation between two Students in Built Environment. Security attended and spoke to the Students concerned. There was a dispute over a group project where one Student had accused another of not working hard enough.
18:25 Security received a report of six young children causing a nuisance outside the Business School South Jubilee campus. Security asked the children to leave. Before leaving the campus via the Triumph Road Entrance, three of the six children jumped on the Triumph Road exit barrier knocking it to the ground. Security placed the barrier in Newark Hall for safe keeping. Security to follow up.
0335 Patrol Security Officers discovered a Student asleep on a grassed area adjacent to The Exchange Building Jubilee Campus. Officers woke the Student up and took him back to his Hall of Residence. The Hall Warden is to be informed.
1145 Report that a person had defecated on the carpet of a communal area in Hall. Security attended. The person responsible who is a friend of Student living in the Hall has since come forward and is being dealt with by the Hall Management team.
1518 Report of three males throwing stones at Wildlife on Jubilee Campus Security attended the males were spoken to by Officers and told to leave Campus.
18:27 Security received a report of two males in a white transit van wearing funny hats and frightening female Med-Link students at Hall. On arrival there was no sign of the males. A further sighting of the van was seen at 19:08hrs outside the Coates Atrium. Security spoke to the occupants who are connected to Med-Link. They admitted that they did mean to scare people and they both apologised and took their hats off. Details to the Head of Security.
1557 Report of a person choking in Life Science Café Security Officers attended. On arrival Officers assisted a Student who was choking on a Paperclip that had fallen into their drink unnoticed. The Student had then drunk the clip which lodged in their throat. Security Officers took the Student to the QMC for treatment.
1630 Patrol Security Officers spoke to a Student who was setting off Air Powered Rockets adjacent to Chemistry Building. The Student stated that he had been given approval however due to where the rockets were landing the Student was told to stop. Security are to follow up.
2025 Report of a group of 50 Students stealing Microwaves, Ironing Boards and Toasters from Derby Hall. Security attended. The group was located on the Downs and a number of the group were stopped and their details taken. A number of this group were either dressed in their underwear or naked. The Compliance and Investigations Manager is to be informed.
1230 Report that a person had poured hot coffee over themselves in Coates Building Security attended and took the person to Cripps Health Centre.
1210 Report that a Resident had a mouse in the flat. They stated that they had caught the mouse and put it outside but it kept coming back in. Security attended. Estates Help Desk to be informed.
0315 Report of a group of Students causing a nuisance in the Hallward Library. On arrival Officers spoke to a number of Students who were making a lot of noise and were drinking from bottles of wine and spirits. The group had also let a non Student into the Library as well. Library Staff to be informed.
Superb! I’ve just started a phase of reading ‘campus novels’, but of course nothing by David Lodge or Andrew Davies can match the surreal truth. This reminds me of the case of the vast stack of vintage porn discovered in the entrance way of Warwick’s chaplaincy. No reasonable explanation was ever obtained.
Extraordinary.
On the campus novels front do let me know if you find any hidden gems. There aren’t a lot of really good ones out there apart from the ones you name (several other posts on this topic…)
I should add that the chaplaincy-porn incident happened many years ago, and no actual members of the clergy were implicated.