This article is more than 5 years old

True Crime on Campus #53: Head, shoulders, knees and toes

Paul Greatrix with the incidents that his security team have had to cope with on campus
This article is more than 5 years old

Paul Greatrix is Registrar at The University of Nottingham, author and creator of Registrarism and a Contributing Editor of Wonkhe.

Strange things happen on campus. Our ever alert security team has to cope with an array of challenging situations. Similar services are performed by security teams at universities across the country. All of us have much to be thankful to them for.

Below is an illustration of some of the extraordinary circumstances security staff are called upon to deal with.

14:05 Report that a student had walked into a lamp post on Spine Road causing a cut to the top of his head. Security attended and provided first aid.

13:30 Report that a person had fallen over spilling hot coffee on herself in Portland Building. Security attended, however the person had left the area.

12:40 Report of a student vomiting in Business School South. Security attended – the student stated that he had eaten the leftovers of a take away from the night before for breakfast and then felt unwell. The student was taken back to his term address by a member of staff.

14:35 Report of a student with an injury to their foot in Coates Road Auditorium. Security attended – the student had already been given a plaster.

23:10 Report of a student drunk under a tree adjacent to hall. Security attended, spoke to the student and arranged a taxi to transport the student home.

23:22 Report of a student with a head injury on the Downs, security attended. He had been running and tripped over landing face first on a pavement. Officers gave first aid and took the student to hospital.

08:45 Report of a person requiring first aid in The Exchange Building. Security attended and spoke to a student who had been stung by a wasp. Officers gave advice on how to treat the swelling.

02:00 Report of a student feeling unwell. Security attended – on arrival the student was vomiting into a cupboard. The student was checked by a paramedic and allowed to sleep it off.

09:25 Report of a person requiring first aid at Sutton Bonington Campus. Security attended and provided first aid to the student who had ripped her big toe nail while cycling.

07:22 Officers called to hall to meet a conference delegate who had hurt himself in bed during the night. He requested any swelling relief security may have. Security did not have any available but the delegate was left with the hall manager to resolve.

00:20 Report of two students with injuries at hall, one student had a back injury while the other had sustained a head injury. Security spoke to both students they explained that they had been messing around when one picked the other up and they both fell over causing the injuries. An ambulance was called and attended, the hall warden is to be informed.

01:30 Report of a large amount of vomit on the stairwell of hall. Security attended – Quality First called out due to the vomit being a slip hazard.

0819 Report of a student with a foot injury in hall. The student stated she had hurt her foot while dancing the night before. Officers took the student to hospital.

21:35 Security were requested to assist a student in hall who had got a contact lens stuck in her eye. Security attended and took the student to hospital. At 22:25 officers collected the student from hospital and returned to her back to the hall.

21:30 Report that a student had burns to his legs in hall. Security attended and provided first aid. The student had accidentally tipped a large bowl of boiling water over himself. Officers took the student to hospital, the hall warden is to be informed.

09:06 Report of a student with a nose bleed in hall, security attended and spoke to the student. After a short period of time the bleeding stopped. No further action was required.

15:35 Patrol security officers spoke to a group of youths who were on the new Portland Hill area. One of the youths had an injury to his ankle after jumping on the steps and falling over. Security spoke to his mother and then took him to hospital.

13:20 Security were requested to go to hall as a student believed she had caught her eye with her fingernail. On arrival there did not appear to be much damage to the eyeball and she was advised that if it got any worse to go to A &E or to call security. Details to the hall warden.

06:45 Report of a student feeling unwell in hall. Security attended and spoke to the student who stated she had acid reflux. Officers gave advice and asked the student to contact security again if it became worse.

01:10 Report that a student in hall had a head wound. Security attended. The student stated that a glass had fallen from a shelf causing a cut to her head. As the wound was bleeding she was taken to hospital by security. The hall warden and hall manager to be informed.

13:00 Report of a person with a head injury in David Ross Sports Village. The person had sustained a punch to the face while taking part in martial arts. She was taken to hospital by a friend.

00:10 Security attended hall to provide access to two students. As the officer walked into the hall he found a student with a dislocated knee. The student stated that he had been doing marital [sic] arts moves when he popped his knee. An ambulance was called and attended the student was taken to hospital for treatment. The hall warden is to be informed.

14:00 Security received a report of a first aid incident at Highfields Park. On arrival it was confirmed that a child had been stung by a wasp. There was no sign of an allergic reaction so the security officer cleaned the sting and applied ice to the area.

23:00 Report of a student with ringing in his ears in hall. Security attended and spoke to the student and duty tutor. The student wanted to attend hospital, security officers contacted NHS Direct for advice. The student stated that he had been listening to loud music prior to the ear-ringing event. Despite advice the student stated that he wanted to attend hospital. Officers took the student to hospital. The hall warden is to be informed.

22:55 Report that a student had dislocated his knee in hall. Security attended. On arrival the student had put his knee back into its socket. Security attended and took the student to hospital.

09:44 Report that a conference delegate had suffered explosive diarrhoea and the toilet area required a deep clean. Security attended and closed the toilets until Quality First could clear the mess.

If you’ve enjoyed this or any of the previous editions of True Crime on Campus then you’ll be keen to get hold of the recently published book of the same name. You can order it for only a fiver (yes, just £5) directly from the University of Nottingham online shop or from Amazon if you prefer. The book includes an outstanding selection of the many hundreds of bizarre, unfortunate, inexplicable and just plain weird campus crime reports have appeared over the years.

At least half of any profits from the sale of this book will be given to support the Children’s Brain Tumour Research Centre at the University of Nottingham to create a brighter future for children with brain tumours. You can find out more about the work of the Centre here.

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